Newsletter: How To Get In Touch With Our Authentic Selves

How To Get In Touch With Our Authentic Selves

Living in an attention economy is great for individual creators, but anxiety levels are through the roof. Most everyone is addicted to the synapses—the places in our brain where neurons connect and communicate with each other—of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Technically it’s a reward and feel good neurotransmitter that acts as a hormone.

The root of the problem is looking outwards constantly for satisfaction, for the next magical mini experience that will make us happy and give our brain that rush of feeling satisfied. It’s a continuous cycle that can create higher levels of anxiety and discomfort.

The real truth of this subject is that if we stop trying to be so darned powerful and just get in touch with our authentic selves, just get in touch with what is born in us, what’s naturally innate within us, there is an enormous amount of intelligence we can use. 

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

Carl Jung

It’s ours to be used and it’s not separate from us. It’s all part of the cosmic universe and it’s within us. To me that is so super exciting that everytime I think about it I almost want to stand up and shout for everyone to hear!

Society thinks that success means wealth and fame. Well, that can be part of success. 

The real part of success is feeling fulfilled and becoming the best version of yourself. 

That runs into a big problem because so many are so busy constantly just treading water and trying to survive, that they forgot how to swim and live in flow and enjoy life. 

It’s tough to improve the others around you when you can barely make it yourself. And that doesn’t mean making it financially. There are plenty of unhappy and disgusted wealthy people. 

The most miserable person in the world.

I remember being a manager of a nationally known nutrition and supplement store and of the tens of thousands of customers I helped, one stands out as the most miserable one of all. 

While checking customers out at the cash register I would scan a customer’s club card, and before we started using our phones to carry the image of the barcode, the convenient way to carry it was on our keyrings. This man handed me his club card and the key on his keyring was of a late model Ferrari. I had served him several times before and he rarely smiled and seemed in a bad mood all the time. Anytime I encountered someone in a heavy mood I was mindful to say things to uplift them and try to bestow happy thoughts upon them, while always presented myself as joyful, and encouraged everyone to feel good. 

This day started like every other, until he came in and wanted to return some protein powder. The company policy had no problem returns as long as the customer had a receipt. He didn’t. When I asked him about his receipt he immediately got defensive and told me I needed to return it anyway. 

I stayed very calm and just explained it was absolutely no problem to make the return but our policy is to have a sales receipt. It had became a problem within the health food industry where people were making fake protein powder and creating labels that made it look authentic. They could come into stores and receive money for the counterfeit product. He wanted to argue about the receipt policy on returns and I couldn’t help but mention the recent news of people manufacturing counterfeit health products.

Unfortunately this hit a nerve. This made him even more defensive and he started threatening me. I tried to comfort him by alluding to the fact that I didn’t think he was doing that and if he could kindly present a receipt with his return everything would be smooth, and he could make his product return with streamlined success.

After some harsh words and more threatening language he got on his cell phone and called the corporate office, which I actually encouraged him to do. They took some information from him and then called me on the store phone with instructions of how to make the return without a receipt. 

Later I felt really bad for him and couldn’t help but wonder how someone with a newer Ferrari, wearing expensive clothing, and highest fashion eyeglasses could be so miserable. 

Money can help us be happy, yet isn’t the true answer to getting in touch with our authentic selves. 

I get my thrill out of helping others be at their best. I like it when I can see that I can be a positive influence in someone’s life. I’ve found a great way to do that is by being completely open and even vulnerable about my life and the experiences I’ve had, including the failures. 

It’s my belief that if I can be my authentic self that I can forge a great relationship with anybody. It boils down to authenticity. That’s what helps the most in creating genuine and fulfilling connections with other people. 

I think I get the desire to help others be happy and succeed from my grandmother. I lived with her and my grandpa during a tough time in my childhood for three years. It was during the divorce of my mom and dad. That time I got to spend with her and going on traveling vacations her instilled in me the value of loving people. 

I seem to find something fascinating about everyone I meet. This extends from the homeless to CEO’s of corporations, I’m just blown away by the stories people tell me, and the things they open up about and trust me with. I just have great empathy and it’s genuine, and I think people really feel that.  

Reflect on the quote by Jung above and look inside yourself. Begin the habit of living from the inside out. It’s an inside job. External things bring a short-term fulfillment, while being happy and feeling useful from the inside is a long-term and deeply fulfilling reward.

It’s been said that it’s not the Ferrari we want to own. We want to own the feeling of owning the Ferrari.

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Created by Martin Hamilton